This is a spirited post because my best friend told me that his dad’s girlfriend told him that she likes me because I’m very well mannered and behaved. She’s a very nice person herself, I guess kindred spirits recognize each other. People always say I’m well behaved, mannered and have perfect etiquette etc. This all came from the study of renaissance men and men in the proverbial court, such as Baldassare Castiglione. When I was younger, I was the rudest person you could ever meet, I thought being an asshole was cool for some reason. The Romans thought that only men could be virtuous. In fact the word virtue itself comes from the Latin word vertus and the prefix of the word is ver which is the Latin word for man, so the prefix already presupposes that notion. I’m a genuinely nice person so being well mannered comes easy to me. My behaviours are the outward expressions of my soul. I’ve broken down my behaviour into several minute facets which can be modeled by anybody. This post isn’t gonna be a big hit with the manosphere and most guys because I know being narcissistic and arrogant is what’s cool and what gets you girls but I feel that there aren’t many good people left so I felt the need to write this. I believe you should be nice to everyone because you never know when you’re gonna need them. The person you cut off in traffic and stuck the finger at might end up being your waitress tonight when you go out for dinner. Just hope she doesn’t spit on your food. Remember not everybody deserves respect but everyone deserves civility.
1) Etiquette- Being well mannered, civil and considerate; not because you’re trying to impress, but because your maintaining decency and decorum.
2) Oratory- I don’t mean public speaking or Greek rhetoric, I mean the art of conversation. Knowing what to say and when to say it. Not offending someone and not excessively flattering them to the point of embarrassment. Every word needs to be studied and calculated before you utter it.
3) Demeanour- Studied grace. This is your overall presence and the aura you exude to people. Before you open your mouth, everyone has already judged you on the way you carry yourself. Are you charismatic or off colour? Walk with a straight posture, chin up and chest outward.
4) Chivalry- Courtliness which does not exclude gallantry and generosity. Don’t put women on a pedestal but treat them with kindness and respect (the ones who deserve it).
5) Integrity- Soundness of moral character. It’s knowing the difference between what’s wrong and right, and choosing what’s right because it’s the right thing to do. Doing the right thing has its own intrinsic value and reward. A good synonym is virtue.
6) Humility- Accept glimmering success with modesty and failure with grace.
7) Charm- “Getting the answer yes, without having asked any real question” – Albert Camus
8) Beauty- Let’s go beyond the genetic God-given looks. It’s about being well dressed and well groomed. Polishing off rough edges, highlighting strengths and hiding weaknesses.
Deus Ex Machina 